


Letters

by Annie_Sutcliff



Category: The Arcana (Visual Novel)
Genre: Angst, Asra is not a bad person, F/M, Gen, Gender-Neutral Apprentice, M/M, My First AO3 Post, My First Fanfic, My First Work in This Fandom, No physical description, Sad, Sad Ending, abou the letter the Apprentice found in Julian things, about book XIII, no name mentioned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-27
Updated: 2018-08-27
Packaged: 2019-07-03 04:49:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,690
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15811710
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Annie_Sutcliff/pseuds/Annie_Sutcliff
Summary: The smell of death and putrid invades Asra's lungs as he takes a deep breath and step in the abandoned clinic and wihtout looking back, begin to go upstairs.When he reaches the second floor, he walks until he finds the room that was yours. He knows which one it is, because he helped you move in when Julian invited you to be his apprentice... In the moment he step in, he feels more than see the tears blurring his vision. As he steps inside, he quickly begin to catch everything that was yours and place delicately inside his bag. He can't let any trace of you behind. If Julian gets back, he can't let you know about you... For your own safety, Julian couldn't make you remember...When Asra is finally over with the clothes, he walks toward the bedside table and opens the only drawer. His eyes widen as he takes the pile of letter in his hands. All of them are placed inside their envelopes, with such clear tender. He finds out they are all letters sent from Julian, and one yours, addressed and sealed, but clearly never sent.More tears come, and this time he lets them flood through his eyes. He doesn't read any of them, but delicately place them inside his bag. One day, he's going to give them to you. One day...





	Letters

**Author's Note:**

> Asra sounds like he did something mean... But I don't think it's mean he just did what he had to do to protect the Apprentice...  
> I had the idea after the mention of the letter in Book XIII and I got myself thinking about julian sending love love letters to the apprentice, and here we are.  
> I advise you to put your MC name in the beginning of the letters, right beside  
> "My Dear ----,"  
> because it feels more realistic, since that's how these letters are supposed to be written.  
> As expected it doesn't have a happy ending, but I hope yall like it anyway, since it's my first work here please be kind hahaha

My Dear,

As you asked my darling, I'm writing this letter right after my arrival at the palace. It's dark already, and they gave me a really nice room, but I don't think I'll ever be familiar with this. You know me, fancy things have never been my thing, and I hope I don't have to, everything here is so unsettling and I already miss being by your side. I'll keep it short because I'm truly tired, and tomorrow I'll personally meet - with the other doctors - the Count and the Countess! I promise I'll tell everything in my next letter. Don't forget to write me back.

With all love in my heart,

Julian Devorak.

     

* * *

My Dear,

I'm glad that things are fine in the clinic! I always told you you could take care of everything without me. You're not just absurdly talented, but also has the best teacher someone could ever ask for, ain't I right? Anyway, I'm sorry for the late reply sweetheart, but things here are as just as we expected: desperate. Understandable, of course, but I'm not gonna mourn you when you're already seeing this face to face. Let's change the subject.

You've never met the Countess I imagine. She is a powerful woman, very strong, beautiful and with a sense of fashion quite... unique, but I think she has some kind of problem with her husband. Well, like everyone else. The Count literally didn't show up to our meeting, what I think is very rude of him I should say, but even when his name is mentioned, the servants flinch and Nadias' eyes tremble. And based on the things I just said, you can imagine she's not the kind of woman whose eyes - or anything else - trembles.

I also met the magician, Asra, he's a friend of yours isn't he? An interesting person I should say, but I'm glad you thought _I_ _am_ more interesting...

Sorry. Well it's late, because the night is the only moment I have to write for you, so I have to go already. Keep taking care of yourself, please... Never be too careful around the patients and always put herbs around the clinic. I love you...

XOXO,

Julian Devorak

* * *

 

My love, 

About the question you sent through your last letter: I suggest you try more leeches and make her drink the mixture of the second pot on the highest shelf with the mug-look color. It was a test I was doing, it's not going to save her, but it will take almost all the pain away. I'm sorry I can't give you a proper answer yet... But I'm working on it. I'll bring the cure to Vesuvia, I'll save them and you're never going to have to worry anymore baby... The streets aren't going to be filled with bodies of children, if I just work harder...

Sorry I think I got emotional and morbid. Let's talk about other things!

Did I told you I have a boss? His name is Valdemar, and he's rather... odd. Actually he scares me. He seems to enjoy all of this, the death and the bodies. He laughs and smiles as he opens the bodies, oh Lord, when we have to get rid of them. Some doctors are beginning to get sick, and he keeps whispering that he can't wait to open their bodies... Sorry I'm getting morbid again, ain't I? It's hard not to. Sorry, again. I miss you. I miss you every single night. I love you.

With love,

Julian Devorak

* * *

Dear,

Lucio is driving me insane. He's mentally torturing me. But I'm gonna find the cure for the plague, not for him, for the city. For the people. I can't stop, I have to work harder and harder.

Julian Devorak

* * *

 

Dear love,

I'm so sorry for letting you worry on my last letter. Yes, I'm okay, I don't want you to come here, but thank you for the offer. I want you as far as possible from this craziness, having you work on the clinic already makes me worried enough, the only thing that soothes my heart, is to see your beautiful handwriting and smell your scent craved on the paper when I open your letters. I truly miss you, I think I'll even get sick if I spend more time away from you.

But missing you is not the only reason why I've been so stressed out lately.

I found out the Count has the plague.

I've known this for a while, to be honest, he allowed me to his quarters and I became his personal physician. I just didn't know how much I could tell you, I honestly thought he could've been even opening my letters, Lucio is obsessed... He's been charging me personally for his treatment, as if I didn't had enough pressure alone. My researches are not showing any progress and to be honest your magician friend is not helping as well. A part of me wishes you were here with me. But please, never even think of asking to come, I simply won't allow it. As I said, I want you far away from it all, mainly from Valdemar. I hope you never get to meet him, he's a nightmare walking.

Maybe just not worse than the Count himself.

Oh, since I mentioned, I also became more close to the Countess. Nadia is a great woman, and she's strong. I don't think I would've survived by this man side as much as she did. She deserves someone better. I hope one day she gets rid of this man and finds someone for her like I found you, my love.

Take good care of yourself, please, and tell me how things have been there, I miss you, sweetheart.

From the one who loves you,

Julian Devorak

* * *

My Beloved,

Oh dear God, don't worry about the shelf, darling. I'm the one who should apology from placing everything so high, I'm just used to it. If, even after you clean it up it stills smells too strong just ask for Mazelinka's soap. She made it herself and it can take any smell away. I'm exhausted and have to sleep now, but I love you. Goodbye.

Always yours,

Julian Devorak

* * *

 

Dear angel, 

Sorry for the shortness of my last letter, I think I'm slowly going crazy. Things are getting out of control. I don't want to talk about anything that happens here anymore. You're the only one that keeps me from going insane. Please, tell me more about how things are there, I need to feel like I'm away from this reality.

Still loving you,

Julian Devorak

* * *

 

My Beloved,

I'm aware that I ignored your last 3 letters, and I'm so sorry. Asra told me you sent a letter to him showing how worried you are. I can't express how sorry I am. I remember I wrote that I wanted you to write me about how you were and yet, when you did, I couldn't read. I'm feeling like the worst partner in the all country. But I'm writing to tell you I love you and just knowing you're still doing good can keep me going. Please, my dear, I ask you to be safe, that's all I can ask for now and that's the only thing I ask for Heaven every single day. Be safe. Be careful. I can't live without. I won't be able to see you on top of a dissection table, or I'd die.

Sorry for the morbidity. It's all too much.

Julian Devorak.

* * *

 

My Dear,

I know I've done a terrible thing on ignoring you, no matter how busy I was, but please, don't stop sending letters. I read the other 3 I couldn't reply earlier. I'm glad things are okay, and I miss you too. I think of you every single night. When I close my eyes all I see is you, and I have to admit I've even cried with you in my mind, remembering the smell of your hair and the texture of your skin under my fingers. Oh darling, when I think I won't be able to do it anymore, when I think the Count will finally drives me crazy, your lovely face pops up in my head and I'm even capable of smiling. The happiest moments I have are the ones when the servant slips your letter under the door of my room. Even thought I know I've been a terrible lover, please, keep writing me, even though you put only a phrase in your letter. I'm allowing myself this selfish request, and I promise I'll always reply you or at least you send you something, just a word, so you know I'm still here. As I said I know it's selfish, but it's all I ask.

I love you, and there is not even one moment that I pass in this haunted palace that I'm not thinking about you.

XOXO

Julian Devorak

* * *

Dear,

I got your report. Thank you. I love you and I miss you.

Julian Devorak

* * *

Dear,

I'm okay. Things seem to be getting harder and harder. Nothing is working, but with you in my mind, I have faith I'll go through this. Your letters have become smaller and colder, you must be so stressed too. Even if I'm unable to answer properly I swear I read every single one of your words, darling. I love you.

Julian Devorak

* * *

 

My angel,

I know things there must be bad as well honey, but I ask you again, please, don't stop writing me, it makes me so worried I can die. If the clinic is too crowded, you can ask the patients to wait at their houses. Don't overwork yourself and don't put yourself in risk. 

From here, everything remains the same. I can't say I'm getting used to it, I don't even think I want to get used to something like that, but I'm holding onto the thoughts of you. I love you and I miss you with all my heart.

From your worried lover,

Julian Devorak

* * *

My Love,

Sorry darling, but your last letter was confusing. I don't know if it was supposed to be a report or an usual letter, you mixed up the subjects. I hope you're getting enough sleep, don't make me ask Pasha or Mazelinka to go there and give you soup. Resting makes your immunological system stronger, you know that. But from what I got from the letter, you're handling things as well as always. I always knew that I could count on you. You're the love of my life, you know that? I love you, and please tell me if you were just tired so I won't get worried, and you cant write for Pasha or Mazelinka if you need anything. Take care of yourself.

I love you.

He who misses you,

Julian Devorak.

* * *

Darling,

Asra told me you stopped sending him letters with no reason, and it's been a while since I got your last one. Are you okay? Contact me, please.

Worried,

Julian Devorak

* * *

Love,

I'm so worried. Your handwriting was illegible on the last letter, as if you were shaking or something. You also didn't wrote me anything in the past 2 weeks. I'm overwhelmed with worry. Please write, even a word.

Julian Devorak

* * *

 

My love,

The baker told me you're not receiving patients. He wrote me to ask why the clinic has been closed for 2 weeks now. I need to know you're okay darling, please. I'm so worried I feel like dying. Please.

Julian Devorak.

* * *

 

Dear love,

I wrote for Mazelinka and Portia, when the letters arrive they're heading to the clinic. I'm dying with worry. I can't stop crying, thinking something has happened. Or is happening. I told you so many times to be careful, my love. Please, answer me and tell I'm just overreacting. Write my name again with your beautiful letter. Call me the pet names you like and the ones you don't. I can't stand this anymore, I feel like my heart is being ripped out of my chest. 

And Asra knows something, I don't know if it's a magician, but when I expressed my worries to him, he felt silent. I asked if you had sent him more letters and he said no. I screamed, my darling. Oh, I have to apology to Asra because I screamed and ordered that he allowed me to read his correspondences. I'm going insane. If I'm not already insane.I have to know if you're okay. Please.

Please.

I love you.

Julian Devorak

* * *

 

Love,

Mazelinka and Portia didn't sent me any letters in responde. I know something happened. I can't... I can't live without you. I'm not going stop writing for you until they come here with a letter written by you. I can't. I'm going to die without you...

I love you

Ilya

* * *

For Doctor Jules, my Beloved Ilya,

How have you been? It's such a cliché question, when I already know the answer. I've been reading your letters. I can't remember how many of them you sent, or what exactly you wrote. My memory is fading away, I can feel it. When I write and the feather slides through the paper, I don't even know what I was supposed to do.

I'm sorry for the dots of black ink in this paper, my hand slipped and some of the ink in the pot fell in the corner. I'm sorry.

I'm writing to you to tell you I'm dying.

At least I think I'm dying. I'm almost sure of it, I remember I saw the red sclera, and I cried, but after that everything is so blurred both in my memory and my vision, that I'm not sure.

But what I wanted to tell you... What did I... I still remember you so clearly Ilya. I can almost see your smile. The way your beautiful lips curved when you said you wanted to travel the sea with me. I want it too, and I'm so sorry I won't be able to fulfil your wish. Our wish, I should say.

I think I never told you that, but did you know I've thought about children? I've thought about creating a child by your side. Or did I dreamed? The little boy called you Papa with bright big eyes and a smile as beautiful as yours. I'm so sorry, again.

Now I remembered why I'm truly writing you, Ilya. It's to say that I love you.

I've known you for long enough to know you're going to blame yourself. When I die - I don't want to be taken to the Lazaret, but I think that place will be my grave - you'll think you did something. Or you didn't did something. You'll think it's your fault. It's not Ilya. You're doing what you had to do, you're away from me because you're going to find the cure and you're going to save so many lives, my love. 

I'm not sure what will happen once I'm gone, but I promise you, I'll be your guardian angel. No matter where I'll be, I'll look after you and I'll protect you.

As you know, the plague makes us so tired, there is no medicine that can hold back this fever, so I'll have to finish it, but I want to ask you something. Once I'm gone, please be happy. It would be such hypocrite from me to say it's going to be easy, because I know how much you love me, I still feel this love running in my veins faster than the blood that this failing heart can make run, and I know you'll think of me, but please, be happy.

If you can't find anyone else, be happy beside Portia and Mazelinka, they're your family. They'll by your side, right here.

And I'll be by your side right above, watching over you. I love you with all my heart. I love with my soul, with the body that I am and with the ashes I'll be. I love you, Ilyushka.

From the one who's never forget you,

Always your lover. 

 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> So while writing I came up with the idea of the only one letter Julian never sent to the Apprentice, and it's very well hidden between bookshelves in the library close to his desk... If you guys like this one I can write a part 2 with this letter


End file.
